Monster.

There’s a monster in my closet.

I hope he doesn’t bite.

If he even shows his face

He’s gonna have a fight.

There’s a human in my bedroom.

I don’t know what to do.

If he comes looking for a shirt

I might turn a nasty shade of blue.

I’m mighty scared of monsters.

But I can’t let that on.

They can smell fear they say,

But I hope to heaven I’m wrong.

Gee I’m scared of humans.

They’re so loud and smelly.

If he’s not gone in a few days

I think he’ll make me silly.

I’m moving out, that’s for sure.

I can’t cohabit with creeps.

Hang on, I’ll pack my things and go,

Trying hard not to make a peep.

I’m happy the human left the room.

He was quite an ugly sight.

The only problem is when he left

He forgot to turn off the light!

Abby & Abby

Abbott married Abigail.

They were a happy couple.

Until people started calling them both ‘Abby’.

They wanted the name calling to stop.

They posted on Facebook.

“Stop calling us ‘Abby & Abby’, please and thank you!”

But it only continued.

It got worse.

It became unbearable.

Abigail refused to leave the house.

Abbott was forced to do the grocery shopping.

Their marriage began to crumble.

Meditation didn’t work.

Marriage counseling didn’t work.

Divorce was inevitable.

And then, a brilliant idea!

Abbott changed his name.

Now they were ‘Gary & Abby’.

But nothing changed.

Oh, cruel world!

They divorced.

All because of a silly name.