Where he smokes a pipe and enjoys Springtime

The morning air: crisp and refreshing, a welcome sign that Spring was finally descending. He found himself lingering, entranced, though he had intended to step outside for only a moment before returning to the couch and an open-faced book, which threatened to flip a few pages and lose its place. But he couldn’t leave; he stood mesmerized, a statue frozen by the full warmth of the morning sun. 

Finally, he melted back to consciousness and with the first decision of the day, brought out his smoking pipe. As a puff of smoke escaped his mouth, he settled in, taking in his surroundings with the utmost attentiveness. He noticed the little leaves of his wife’s mint plant, green in shadow but transparent-yellow where the sun met the tops of the curling blades. He noticed the droplets of water that refused to fall from the underside of the porch railing: evidence of last night’s downpour. He heard the distant calls of jays, the nearby shouts of blackbirds, and the shrill songs of sparrows. He felt the gentle rustle of the breeze as it touched his skin, and caught a waft of someone’s nearby breakfast. 

As he took in the beauty around him, he thought no more of the stories others had written, where he was a mere onlooker. Instead, he dreamed of his own story, the one he hadn’t written yet. His mind was filled with awe as he considered the scurrying squirrels and the budding trees, the deepening blues of the sky and the disappearing shadows beneath the trees. He couldn’t help but recreate the world he perceived, and so he pulled out pen and paper and wrote: “The morning air: crisp and refreshing, a welcome sign that Spring was finally descending.”

Prince Sol

ACT I: GOING AWAY

This story is about a boy named Sol, who was the son of the King of a great kingdom called Colos. Sol grew up in the king’s castle with his father, who loved him more than anything. The king took care of him and taught him all the ways of the world, including all the fairy tales that were common in those days. They were tales of knights and dragons and castles — all the standard stuff. But Prince Sol’s favorite fairy tale of all was one of a still, glassy pool that was in the middle of a dark wood beyond the mountains to the west, and when gazed into, the water would reveal who you truly were. Most nights he would beg his father to tell him of that story, again and again, and when the king would forget a part, the prince would remind him, and the king would smile and tell the story the way Sol liked it.

There were few things that excited Sol as much as this story. He talked about it with his teachers and with his servants and cooks and butlers, and in his spare time he dreamed of what the glassy pool would show him when he looked into it.  He dreamed of the pool so often, in fact, that he began to fall behind in his classes and show up late to meals. He stopped asking his father to tell him stories, and even began to avoid the king altogether. He would rather be by himself in the world of his own imagination. 

When Sol turned ten, he decided he was old enough to go out on his own and find the pool, so he went to his father to ask for permission.

“Father,” Sol said to his father, the King, “I want to go away for a while; I want to find the glassy pool in the woods beyond the mountains. I want to know who I truly am.”

“Why, are you not my son, the Prince of Colos, heir to the throne?”

“I know that, father, but is that all I am? What if I don’t want to be king someday? Surely there is more to life than inheriting the throne. I’d like to go out and experience what’s outside of these castle walls. Will you give me your blessing?”

“It seems to me your mind won’t be assuaged until you accomplish what you’ve set your heart on, so go and be free, but I warn you, perhaps what you search for cannot be found in the glassy pool.”

Nevertheless, his mind was made up and so with a hug Prince Sol left home and began his travels. He needed a quick mode of transport and he knew of an old woman who lived in the desert outside the city and flew a hot air balloon when she was lonely, and he hoped he could borrow it. He knocked on her door.

“Why hello young prince, whatever are you doing here in my desert?”

“I am going on an adventure, madam, and would request the use of your hot air balloon for transport,” said Sol.

“Why, anything for you, my prince! Come in for a moment and tell me your quest before you depart, if you wish.”

She lived in a large house with many rooms and ornate decorations. Sol walked in the woman’s house and marveled at the beauty of her home.

“I say, madam, you have just the loveliest of houses!”

Sol wandered around through the halls, following distantly behind the host, who had run off to some corner of the house to get the balloon and the helium and all the different things you need for a hot air balloon adventure; and oh, what amazing pictures there were, framed and hung on her walls! There were pictures of exotic birds in exotic forests, there were pictures of famous people and trophies, there were pictures of mountains and rivers, and there was no end to the pictures of hot air balloons.

“Madam, you must have lived the most full life, these pictures are magical!” Sol said, though he doubted she heard him at all, for she was nowhere to be seen.

“Ah, yes, a most full life indeed,” she shouted from some other room nearby, “but I’ve forgotten it all by now, for some days I look at those pictures and wonder how they ever could have happened to me. Ah, I’m old and my memory fails me, but all I know is that I’m quite lonely and wish I would’ve slowed down a bit more and appreciated what’s right in front of me.”

There were some loud clatters that came from the room the old woman was in before she appeared in the hall, carrying this piece and that thing and those whatchamacallems. 

“So, my dear prince, what is your quest?”

“I am searching for the glassy pool in the woods beyond the mountains that tells you who you are” said Sol.

“Ah, yes, I’ve heard the tales.”

“Have you ever searched for it?” Sol asked.

“Once, when I was a young woman, but since then I’ve learned who I am. I’m a wanderer, a nomad, a lonely and isolated woman destined to remain sad and die alone.

Sol thought this was a most somber response and he half expected her to cry, but she remained resolute.

“So you gave up the search for the pool?”

“Yes, but, oh dear, I can’t seem to remember much about those days.”

“When I find it, I’ll come back and tell you all about it. I promise.”

“Well, I hope you find what you’re looking for, but heed this advice: the things you want to escape from the most are often the very things that reveal the most about who you are.”

After a few seconds of rather uncomfortable silence, the old woman grabbed Sol’s hand and led him to her front yard, where she spent the next several minutes assembling and preparing her hot air balloon. After she showed him how everything worked, she sent him off into the sky and they waved goodbye to each other. 

Sol looked around and thought it was all beautiful. The deep blue sky met the cracked desert floor in jarring fashion, and beyond the desert to the west, he could see in the distance a river meandering its way through grassy foothills to the base of a wide mountain range. He didn’t look back.


A few miles away, gazing out the castle window, stood the King, watching the colorful balloon rise into the air. Yellow and red and green patches of the balloon popped against deep blue sky, and though the King thought it was beautiful, he couldn’t help but feel sad.

Oh my son,
My dearly loved son,
Will you find what you seek
Apart from me?

ACT II: BEYOND THE MOUNTAINS

The wind felt refreshing on Sol’s face and hair, and he closed his eyes and breathed deep. It felt good to be alone, free from judgment, free from criticism. As the king’s son, he was used to being in the public eye and it felt good to not worry about any of that right now. He felt a tinge of loneliness and homesickness but he shoved that down, telling himself that he had to leave his comfort zone if he wanted to learn about himself. The words of the old woman rang in his ears, and he wondered if what she said was true. “What am I escaping from?” But all his life he’d listened to old people telling him what to do and how to think and it was high time he learned some things on his own.

After a few hours, Sol passed over the mountain range. From above, they looked like the spine of a great beast that had been slain in ages past. On the other side of the ridge, heavy clouds lingered just below him and he had to fall through them to  see what lay beneath. Sure enough, a vast and dark forest covered the ground as far as the eye could see. He continued to descend, looking for an opening in the canopy large enough to land the balloon. It was now late in the day and the sun was almost set and the temperature was dropping quickly, and Sol was beginning to feel afraid. At last, with a few precious minutes of daylight left, he found a clearing in the woods and landed the balloon

Darkness was upon him. Sol pulled on his coat and sat down beside the balloon to eat his dinner, which he had packed before leaving. After finishing his food, and feeling both exhausted and scared, he curled up in his blanket and placed his head on his pack, and fell asleep.

Suddenly it was morning and the air was hot and humid and the brightness burned in his eyes. He sat up, yawned, and shook his head sleepily. He had been asleep for hours but it felt like moments. He felt awfully hungry right away and so he reached for his pack to grab the breakfast he had prepared for this morning, but it was not there! His pack, which he had used as a pillow, was missing and in its place was a large, squishy mushroom! He looked all around him, shocked and suddenly more awake than before. Then he realized his blanket was missing too, and then — he nearly screamed in alarm, for high above him, flying up up and away, was the hot air balloon!

“Oh blast it, blast it all, blast everything!” Sol yelled and began to cry. He had been taught not to use this kind of language, but nobody was around to hear. Except…

“Well, I see someone woke up on the wrong side of the grass! Har har har.”

Sol looked up and around. Who said that? There was no one around!

“Hello? Who said that?” Sol shouted.

“It was just me! Over here, on the tree, right in front of you!”

And indeed, stuck to the side of the beech tree and camouflaged perfectly was a gecko. It held out one of its front paws and waved slightly.

“You’re a… gecko? And you talk!” Sol said, astonished.

“Why, of course I talk, and what’s wrong with geckos?”

“Well, nothing I’m sure, it’s just that… well, forgive me, but I’ve never heard a creature talk before!”

“I guess that’s a fair point, you look like a city boy to be sure. Is it your first time in nature?” The gecko said as it speedily scrambled down the trunk of the tree, across the grass toward Sol and stopped near his left foot.

“Yes, I’ve lived my whole life in the city,” Sol responded.

“What brings you out here?” The gecko scrambled up the prince’s shoe and stopped there, looking eagerly at the boy. He licked his eyeballs.

“Well I’m looking for the glassy pool that’s fabled to be hidden in the wood beyond the mountains in the west, and I’ve come here on that balloon—“ he pointed up at the balloon that was even farther away than a moment before— “and I’m afraid I’ve been negligent and somehow it’s floated away and I’m stranded here forever.” Sol barely squeaked out the words before his tears sprung violently on him once more and he continued his cry.

“Well have peace, little human, for it’s not your fault the balloon has escaped you. I’ve seen it all, for I’ve been watching you since dawn and just before you stirred, a giant — those mischievous little drats — came and stole your pack, replaced it with a mushroom, and loosed the sandbags that held the balloon to the ground. It’s in their nature to steal and disrupt, and you shouldn’t blame yourself for its stupidity.

“So giants are real?” Sol said, wiping his tears and rubbing his nose, “I’ve heard many tales of giants, but I would have expected them to be tall and mighty and respectable, not mischievous and— and— well, evil!”

“Humans often get things wrong about this country, for they have a poor memory and it has been ages and ages since humans and creatures existed together in harmony,” said the gecko.

Just then there was a loud sound from above and behind Sol and there at the base of a wide oak tree plopped a very small person, much like a dwarf, with a long beard and fat belly, and it was wearing Sol’s blanket and clutching his pack tightly in its arms! It looked wide-eyed at Sol for a split second before scrambling to its feet and running away, but when it did, it ran square into another tree and fell over.

“Hey! You, dwarf! Come back here!” Shouted Sol, who had jumped to his feet when he saw the dwarf fall out of the tree.

“Oy, I’m not a dwarf!” Said the dwarf in a very deep voice, and very slowly too.

“Well, whatever you are, you stole my stuff and I want it back!“

“I’m a giant, I am, and I won’t be disrespected by being called a dwarf!”

“A giant? You’re not a giant, you’re barely four feet tall!”

“Oy, I say, I’ve never been more insulted in all my life. Oy, why don’t ye just come and fight me already!”

At this point, the gecko decided to step in, for he figured that if he didn’t, things might go sideways very quickly and he didn’t want to see any human child fight a giant (for it really was a giant).

“Calm yourselves!” Yelled the gecko in as loud a voice as he could muster. “Giant, give back the boy’s possessions! You know they aren’t yours, and shame on you for cutting the ropes of his nice balloon. Now he doesn’t have a way out of this forest, so I hope you’re ready to say sorry and help him in his quest. You owe him that!

“You mean to say he really is a giant? This small, little—“ began Sol before stopping himself, not wanting to anger the giant further.

“Yes, this really is a giant, and a rather large one at that!”

“Oy, I’m sorry, li’l human,” said the giant, beginning to cry, “I knew I shouldn’t have stolen yer stuff and cut the ropes, but, oy, Doug made me do it!”

“I say, don’t ye go on blaming me for your mischief!” shouted a different voice from somewhere else in the trees, and as it spoke, down plopped another giant, supposedly Doug, and the two of them got into a heated argument that led to a rather awkward and clumsy, yet passionate fist fight.

“Look,” shouted Sol, “it doesn’t matter who is responsible! Just return my blanket and pack, and kindly hear me out and see if you can help me in my quest.”

With many more loquacious apologies and excuses, the two giants gave back Sol’s things and promised to help him in his quest, which Sol told them all about.

“I say, I’ve just remembered,” said Doug, “I heard Sterling talking about a mysterious pool the other day!”

“Sterling! Oy, what a guy, a real gentlegiant,” said the other giant, whose name was Patrick.

“He is quite a lovely guy, ain’t he?”

“Oy, I don’t know anyone who speak ill o’ him, and that is a rare thing for a giant, ain’t it?”

“Sure is.”

“Okay, well can you take me to Sterling?” asked Sol, who was fed up with the giants’ banter.

“Oy, we owe ye that, don’t we?”

And so they started off into the woods at a painfully slow pace, the two giants leading the way, always bickering, and behind them came Sol with the gecko perched on his left shoulder. After hiking for nearly an hour, they came to a cave in the woods and Patrick and Doug led them straight in. The cave was long and narrow at first, but opened up into a large chamber which was lit by torches all the way round and was filled with the bustling of hundreds of giants. As Patrick and Doug led Sol through the masses, he heard many loud and obnoxious comments about him, and very many “oy’s” and “I say’s”. The little giants all gawked and stared and pointed, and he felt uncomfortable, but at last they came to a portion of the cave which was a tad smaller and after a few minutes of banter between the giants, Sol was introduced to Sterling. He was a soft-spoken giant with gentle eyes and a smile that spanned both sides of his wide face.

“Oy, tell ‘im about the pool ye’re looking for,” shouted Patrick.

“I say, he’s looking for a pool that tells ye secrets,” said Doug.

“Let the boy talk,” said Sterling.

“Well, I’ve heard tales of a glassy pool somewhere in these woods, that will show me who I am when I look into it, and these giants said you know where it is, and I was hoping you could lead the way,” said Sol.

“I’ve just stumbled upon this pool a few days ago myself. It’s not too far from here, but it’s hidden pretty well. I hope I can remember the way, but if I can, I’ll gladly take ye there!” said Sterling.


ACT III: A CHANGE OF HEART

They began at once, and I’ll spare you the details of their journey there, for it was uneventful. They walked slowly and Sol was anxious about what the pool might reveal, and Doug just kept talking, but eventually they made it to a very thick part of the woods, which they had to scrape and crawl through in order to get into a small glade with only beautifully green grass and a few flowers scattered around, and in the exact center of the opening was a small pool. Sol hesitated to approach it, and the giants and gecko knew better than to go with him, for they could sense the uneasiness in his face and demeanor, so they stayed at the edge of the glade while Sol walked up alone.

His heart beat fast. Step by step, he drew closer to the pool. His mind wandered to all the things he might see in the water but finally he reached the edge and looked down into it.

There in the water, staring up at him, was a young boy, small and scared, and as he gazed, he began to cry. They were soft and gentle tears that escaped his eyes, almost peaceful and less sad than you would expect. After a moment of crying, he stopped suddenly and raised his chin, wiped his tears, and smiled generously. He looked very princely and noble and you could tell he was a very content boy, and he looked older and wiser than he actually was, and there was a peace about him that really made you feel safe in his presence. And after that, the boy was gone and the pool was still, and Sol saw no reflection.

The whole experience lasted only moments, but it was obviously a magical moment and was a thing he expected he would remember for a long time.

Immediately after looking into the pool, and lasting the entire journey back to the giants’ cave, Prince Sol felt a deep and terrible homesickness, something like he’d never felt before. He longed to be back at the castle and to hug his father and even to focus on his studies and do his chores. He felt scared that the world he had once known had forgotten about him already, for it felt as though he had been away for a very long time. He hoped his father wouldn’t be angry that he had left, and it occurred to him that he had never once considered his fathers’ feelings before his adventure. He realized he had been selfish and inconsiderate, and he felt grief in his heart.

Patrick, Doug and the gecko could sense that Sol was feeling down, and they were unusually quiet on the long walk back to the cave. And once they arrived, Patrick offered his services to the building of a new hot air balloon, and of course Doug announced to the entire tribe of giants what they were doing, and they all helped out in their own way. Some of the faster giants went out and gathered materials while the crafty and less clumsy ones set about to putting the pieces together and weaving the basket and sewing the fabric. Doug and Patrick directed and yelled orders (and bickered between themselves a fair bit too), and before too long, they had built an odd-looking, yet fully functioning hot air balloon. To be quite honest with you, I have no idea how they did it (I’m a writer, not an inventor) but in the end, Sol climbed in the basket and after saying goodbye to everyone, lifted up into the sky and off to the east.

Sol returned the same way he came, over the mountains, across the expanse and into the desert, where he dropped the balloon off at the old woman’s house (even though her old balloon had been lost, she accepted this new balloon in exchange, and they had many laughs together about it), and after telling his tale to her, he went running back to the castle in the city. He was so excited to see his father the king but as he drew nearer, he felt more shame for ever leaving and thought his father might not receive him back into the castle, or might treat him differently from then on. 

His fear was unnecessary, however, for his father the king had made a habit of watching for his son every morning, looking out the castle window, and he had seen Sol’s balloon in the desert beyond the city, and his heart was filled with joy. And so the king was waiting for his son as he walked up to the castle, and he gave him a hug and smiled warmly and invited him to tell his tale from start to finish, and that’s exactly what he did.

Wild fables,
Lofty Tales,
Bedtime stories
Now made true

He listens gently,
He smiles fondly, 
For in his arms
He holds you

BEYOND THE EDGE

“How far are we from the edge?” she asked me.

“What edge?” I said.

“The edge of the earth.”

“There isn’t an edge, it just goes on and on and around and around forever,” I replied.

She paused and thought for a while. I could tell she was thinking because her forehead was wrinkled and her head was tilted to the left and her eyes were studying the clouds above us. Finally she said, “well I wish there was an edge, cause I would jump off it.”

I thought this was a wonderful thing to say. I imagined a cliff that leads to nowhere, just down into nothingness, and I wondered if I would jump. Then I remembered that scene in The Voyage of the Dawn Treader by C.S. Lewis, where Reepicheep, that small but noble mouse, sailed to the edge of the sea just to see where it led. This is the very essence of adventure, I think. It all starts with an idea that defies logic, that goes against science or math, that insults the enlightened man, but that captures the mind in a way that no concept or number could, and it sparks the most incredible adventure. And what is life without adventure? 

I think following God is an adventure. Maybe that’s my favorite part of being a Christian, is that sense that I’ll never have it all figured out, that I’ll always be left with questions. For some people that might be frustrating, and it is for me too sometimes, but then I think about the edge of the world, and maybe God is beyond that cliff. Maybe that’s what heaven is, the place beyond the edge, and my whole life is leading up to that moment of death, when I finally make the leap.

young love is cute but also kinda sad cause you know they won’t end up together

“Boys don’t cry,” Sam  was saying as he walked his latest crush, Roxie Richards, home from school. Sam was a bit of a playa, even in the fifth grade, and his friends teased him endlessly for ditching them to pamper a cute girl. But Sam didn’t care. He was born for love, and some day his friends would understand.

“You never cry?” Roxie asked, eyes the size of the moon.

Sam shook his head defiantly. “Never.”

“Have you ever cried?”

“I used to when I was younger, but I’m a grown-up now, and you never see grown-ups crying, do you?”

“You’re not a grown up! You’re only ten!”

“My grandpa says I’m mature for my age,” Sam said, holding his head high.

Roxie crossed her arms and frowned. “I don’t believe you!”

“Just ask your dad. Boys don’t cry.”

Roxie didn’t answer right away, but grew quiet, almost sullen even. She refused to look at her friend as she said “I don’t have a dad.”

There was a pause as Sam thought about her words. He let out a soft “oh.”

They walked the rest of the way to Roxie’s house in silence, Sam beating himself up for assuming everybody’s family was the same as his. Lesson learned, he thought, as he prepared himself to never see this beautiful girl again. Surprisingly, however, Roxie turned to face Sam as they approached her door, and asked with a smile in her eye, “Will I see you tomorrow?”

Sam stuttered a little trying to get out his next words, “It would be an honor and a privilege to walk you home tomorrow, madam,” and as he said it, he bowed as fancily as he could. This elicited a wide smile from Roxie, which quickly turned into a gleeful giggle, before she hid her embarrassment by turning abruptly and opening her door. And as it closed behind her, Sam heard her yell “mom, I’m home! I made a new friend!”

Mi Amigo Donkey, ep. 3

“Donkey! Guess what! I’m a Christian now!”

Donkey looked up.

“It all started when I asked one of my friends why he was so happy all the time. He explained to me that he wasn’t, but that he had the Holy Spirit that allowed him to experience joy even during hard times. That was a new concept for me, and still something I’m trying to wrap my mind around. But that joy that he was describing was so attractive that I had to figure out where one gets this “Holy Spirit”. So he explained everything to me: how God created us perfect but we screwed it all up and because of our sin we deserve death and hell, but Jesus took on all of our sins in a perfect act of grace when he was crucified on our behalf.

Donkey tilted his head slightly.

“Yes, Donkey, even you are a sinner.”

Donkey grunted.

“But because of Jesus’ sacrifice, we can be reconciled to God again. Don’t you see, amigo? The only way to have a joy that isn’t reliant on current circumstances is to have your hope and faith in something that’s bigger than this world! Anyway, I’m done preaching at you, but I just can’t believe I had missed this for so many years. It feels like my whole life is turned upside-down.”

Donkey smiled.

Mi Amigo Donkey, episode 2

“Well, Donkey, I’ve been going to Church for a while now, and I’ve learned some things. First of all, Christians say they have all the answers to life and stuff like that. They say that Jesus is the only way to heaven, and that if you reject Jesus, then you’ll go to hell. That doesn’t sound very fun. But here’s the thing, what if I don’t believe in heaven or hell? What if things aren’t so black and white? What if there’s a little space between right and wrong called moral ambiguity? What if all religions lead to heaven? What if—“

Donkey lay down.

“Oh, well I’m sorry for boring you! It’s just that there’s so many questions in life that seemingly don’t have answers! How can Christians be so confident all the time?”

Donkey yawned.

“You’re lucky you don’t have to wrestle with morality, life and death, and all that jazz. Humanity is intense. Sometimes I wish I were a dumb donkey.”

Donkey fell asleep.

Mi Amigo Donkey, episode 1

“Here’s the thing Donkey. I’m not happy. I mean, sometimes I’m happy, but it doesn’t really last. I’ll have a fun night with friends, go on a date or two, but the happiness always ends with the night. In the morning, I wake up and do it all over again!”

Donkey blinked.

“Don’t you see the problem, donkey? I’m living for the little moments in life that make me happy. I’m living drink to drink, just waiting for the next high. I’m barely making it through the week so I can make it to the weekend. I have no joy, no lasting satisfaction. This can’t be all there is to life! There’s gotta be more. What am I missing?”

Donkey neighed. Not a horse neigh, but a deeper, more guttural donkey neigh. It’s not my fault you don’t know the difference.

“I don’t know what to do, Donkey. Maybe I should go to church.”

Donkey grinned.

A Desert Soul, Part 4

We walked for a mile in silence. Jack’s steps were light and I noticed he was barely sweating at all; I on the other hand, if invertebrate, could have been wrung out like a wet towel, filling many buckets with my sweat. My steps were still sinking deep into the sand as well, and with every step I cursed Jack and this blazing dream and God even. All I wanted was to return to my ordinary day, to go out and buy a coffee – maybe a croissant – and go about my day! God, did that sound lovely! My mouth nearly drooled at the thought. Suddenly I realized I was extremely thirsty, for I hadn’t drunk water since this whole nightmare began. I contemplated asking Jack if he had water, but of course he didn’t have a water bottle. And why would he? He was an angel; do they even drink? Aren’t they satiated by God alone?

I sneered at my own thought. All this was rather uncomfortable, was it not? What, in the end, would I draw away from this hellish experience? As soon as I was returned to my ordinarity, I would forget this whole thing – Jack, the two colleagues, the drunkard, and this hot desert.

This thought reminded me of my temporariness in this world. Surely I would be returned to Earth soon! This gave me hope to keep trudging, for I was exhausted and ready to collapse into the burning sand. I also reminded myself that it was cold on Earth right now and I would need my coat upon return, so with renewed passion, I gripped my coat and caught up to Jack, whose pace was difficult to match.

We came upon a scene which, in retrospect, is rather comical. In the moment, however, it hit way too close to home.

There was, on the cliff wall (for we had followed the wall of the ravine the whole time) was a worn ladder made from some sort of tied together twine. It looked suspicious and altogether not fit for climbing. There was upon it, however, a large man with a gigantic pack on his back. Furthermore, he was grasping in his left hand a staff, leaving his right arm alone to support and balance the weight that he carried. His situation was such that I thought several times he would fall, for he was tipping this way and that due to so much pressure on his back. And without both hands to properly climb the ladder, he swayed and rocked the ladder violently. And with every sway, an item from his pack would linger precariously close to tipping out and falling back down the wall; the man was no less than 20 feet above the ground.

Indeed, he would have made quicker progress, but for the fact that each time he swung to the right or to the left and noticed one of his precious collectables about to fall, he would do everything within his effort to clutch at it until it was once more secure in his pack. This he did a hundred times within the first minute of us observing him from below.

“Surely we must do something!” said I to Jack, cringing with every shake and stagger, “he’s going to fall!”

“Sadly nothing can be done for this poor old fool,” Jack responded.

“Nothing! Well, surely someone in his right mind might coax him down!”

“Do you not think this man is of a stable frame of mind?”

“Well certainly I don’t! Just look at him, he values his belongings more than his very life!”

“Ah, does he now?” And as Jack said it, I knew the tremor in his voice was meant to challenge my own way of thinking, for I was still holding on to my coat. Inside I boiled but outwardly kept my cool, feinting oblivion.

“Well very well, you may interact with the fellow,” said Jack, snapping his fingers. I was inserted into this new realm, the realm without Jack. I very much liked not having to bother with Jack’s judgmental attitude.

I approached the cliffside and looked up at the man, who had made no progress – in fact he may have traveled down a rung or two!

“Good sir!” I hollered up at the man. No response. “Good sir!” I tried again, louder this time.

“Ay, is somebody there?” the man called down without looking down.

“Hello good sir! Might I suggest you come down from there?”

“Well why on earth would I do that? I need to make it up!”

“I fear that if you continue, you shall fall and greatly injure yourself!”

“Ha! Never have I been one to follow fear’s whims. I am a conquerer!”

He tried to continue up the ladder, but only managed to knock loose a badminton racket from his bag, which he managed to catch with his foot, pinching the racket between his foot and the wall. It was quite impressive, I must say, but he nearly lost his balance and fell. The next minute was riveting to watch, as he precariously reached down with his left hand to grab the racket. The trick was that he was already holding his staff with his left hand, so in order to free his hand, he clenched the staff between his knees and grabbed the racket, then placed it back into his pack and wielded the staff once more.

“Sir,” I called up once more, “why don’t you let a few things go? You’re endangering your safety for the sake of your objects!”

“Indeed I am, but let me assure you, kind gentleman, that all of my possessions are of great worth!”

“Well, would you at least loose your staff so you have 2 free hands to climb the ladder?”

“Loose my– well!” huffed the man, “I could simply never do such a thing! This staff holds very dear sentiment to my heart and dropping it would be the cruelest thing I’d ever done.”

“Well, what about lightening your pack a little bit, then? Tell you what, why don’t you come back down and I’ll help you sort out your belongings, and then you can return up the ladder with ease!”

“You speak as a simpleton I’m afraid. You know nothing of the value of my possessions and if you did I’m positive you’d agree with me. Now, if you’ll leave me be, I’m almost to the top!”

It was then that Jack fetched me back and we both watched the fool climb the ladder hopelessly. He was nowhere near the summit.

“Will he ever reach the top?” I asked.

“I guess not.”

“A shame.”

“And what about you, John?” Jack turned to me as he said this.

“Well what about me?” I replied.

“Are you ready to drop your possessions?”

“This is hardly about me! Besides, the poor old man is carrying more weight than I! One shouldn’t compare the two of us!” I waved my hand in Jack’s face and turned my attention back to the man on the ladder. I never felt Jack’s gaze leave me, however, and it was quite uncomfortable.

“John, face the truth. You’ve been carrying around more weight than just your coat. You know I’m not only talking about physical things – the man’s pack represents more than just his physical belongings. You’ve been bearing many things upon your shoulders, since you were a child even!”

“You don’t know me and I wish you’d stop pretending you do!”

“You always blamed yourself for your father’s drinking habit, didn’t you?”

I turned to Jack, rage in my eyes, unable to form words. Jack continued, though I silently begged him to stop.

“And when your parents divorced, you promised yourself you’d never make the same mistakes… but here we are. You’ve been carrying these wounds like you’ve been carrying that coat, and you refuse to let go. Why is that, John?”

Like salt to an open wound were Jack’s words to my heart. I was crying now. I felt in that moment naked, completely exposed, weak, vulnerable, and I hated it. I hated Jack for doing this to me. Above all, I hated myself.

“It’s time to let go. It’s time to drop the coat. ‘Come to me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.’”

I felt like a little child. I was weak, dependent, unable to provide for myself. I was a failure. I had done the very thing I promised I’d never do. I promised I’d never hurt someone the way my father hurt my mother. And yet, I was no different from him… no better.

“Love and hate cannot coexist within your heart. You must rid yourself of one to make room for the other.”

How did Jack do that? How did he pierce my mind and soul and speak so eloquently into it? I didn’t know and for a moment I didn’t care. My eyes began to open to the truth of it all – just a sliver, mind you – it would take years before I began to fully understand the depravity of my heart, but there in the desert the door to my soul was cracked open, letting in a sliver of light.

I dropped my coat.

Oh the joy that embraced me in that moment! I danced a silly dance there on the hot sand, yet I barely even felt the sand on my feet anymore! What once had burned so painfully now seemed like nothing! My steps were not deep as they were before – no, they were light like Jack’s! I felt freer than I’d ever felt before. Greater than that, I felt the overwhelming power of love rush over me and take my breath away. I was speechless!

I looked at Jack, awe in my eyes and happiness inflating my chest. He looked back at me the same and we embraced.

“Now do you believe?”

I believed.

A Desert Soul, Part 3

We walked along in silence for a good while; I was deep in thought about the previous occurrences. What do they mean? Who is this Jack fellow? Am I dreaming? I concluded quite unsatisfactorily that I must be hallucinating and this was all one bizarre trip. Somehow my breakfast had been poisoned and I was passed out on the floor of my house. I say “unsatisfactorily” because this explanation begs the question: “can you reason about a hallucination trip whilst you are hallucinating?” My answer for the moment – until I could have time to really sit down and ponder it fully – was that I was overthinking it and that’s exactly the sort of thing one would do during a hallucination. Let it be said here, I had never been the one to experiment too deeply with drugs.

“That’s not true,” said Jack.

“What?”

“It’s not true… in fact, you have experimented quite heavily in drugs, haven’t you?”

“I–well… well yes but… how did you…?”

“Remember, John, you are in a supernatural dimension, being led by a supernatural being… I can read your mind. Your hypothesis that you are hallucinating is completely outlandish and honestly makes you sound quite silly.”

It was the first time Jack had used my name and it startled me for I had not offered my name to begin with. I was bothered by that for the rest of my journey.

“All of my experimentation was in college and I haven’t fooled around with those kinds of substances in years!” Said I, feeling the need to justify the shame I felt.

“Ah, maybe so with what might be called ‘hard drugs’, but what about alcohol, John?”

“Stop using my name! You don’t know me, you’re just a figment of my imagination, now why don’t you get off your power trip and send me back!”

There was an awkward pause. I felt downright justified in my lashing out – he was asking for it, the self-righteous jerk! As if Jack had never drunk before! I seethed inwardly as we trekked on. Moments later, I once again began to justify my position.

“Well of course I drink here and there, but it’s rarely in excess and when it is I have a jolly good reason, now don’t I? Show me another man who’s gone through a divorce like I have and tell me he doesn’t down a few shots every now and again!” I began this sentence to myself, muttering in obscene rage, but as I continued on and gained confidence, I lifted my voice, unashamed of who heard me. At this, Jack spun around to confront me, eyes glimmering.

“Ah, good! Very good! Now we get down to your heart (at this he jabbed my chest with his extended index finger). Here is how we get to the root of your pain!”

“You know nothing about pain!” I nearly screamed, “You’re just an angel after all! You just sit up in your clouds and laugh at us from above!” Immediately I regretted my statement, for I knew he would capitalize on my logical inconsistency, which he did.

“Ah, so you admit that I’m an angel – a supernatural being!”

Too proud to show weakness, I continued to dig my own grave. “Well, what else could you be? You read minds, you know my past! What’s your angle, anyway? What do you want from me?”

“My angle?” Said Jack, turning back around and continuing down the slope, which had grown much less sharp – in fact, we were near the bottom. “I exist to do the will of Him who sent me.”

“God.”

“That’s right.”

I guffawed softly.

Presently we reached the bottom of the basin. I was relieved to not be in danger of losing my footing and falling to my death, however, upon looking back up the cliff wall, I was reminded that in order to get out of this god-forsaken ravine, we would have to climb back up. I did not look forward to that in the least.

Before I had time to grumble about this further, Jack and I came upon a man, heavily clothed as was I, holding a bottle and stumbling around aimlessly. He was singing rather loudly and swaying to some melody that was in his head. A ways to our left, a woman followed, dragging her feet in the sand, obviously exhausted and suffering from dehydration.

Jack turned to me, “Unlike the last conversation we overheard, this time you will be visible to both of them and able to interact with them.” Before I had time to balk, he snapped his fingers and he disappeared – well I guess technically I disappeared, for I had been teleported to the other dimension, but from my perspective, it was just Jack disappearing.

My first interaction in this new dimension was with the drunkard. He addressed me first.

“Well hellow there gentl-y-man, do you have a name or are you an apparition?”

“Uh, John’s the name.”

“Well hellow there John!” he said much too excitedly, “I wish I could help you with your fine quest, but I have important work to do, so best leave me be! Cheers!” He took a swig from his bottle.

It was then that I was approached by the woman, who perked up considerably when she saw me.

“Please, sir, would you tell me which direction you came from? My brother and I are horribly lost and in dire need of water!”

I turned to look behind me so I could explain the little steep pathway which Jack and I had taken to get down into the valley, but when I did I realized that suddenly I was lost as well! Behind me there was no sign of a path. I circled in all directions, searching for a familiar scene, but all that greeted me was hot sand as far as the eye could see. I was discombobulated, and I began to panic.

“Oh,” the woman said, drooping her eyes back down to the earth, “I see you are as lost as we are. Very well then. I thought you would be the salvation I have been praying for, but so is my luck. My brother is drunk as I am sure you can tell – the disgusting man – for as long as we’ve been wandering around in search of salvation, he’s been at that bottle. The coward. You do think it cowardly, do you not, that in time of tribulation – in a time when siblings should stick together closer than ever, he chooses liquor over his own sister! I should’ve known he had a bottle or two under that coat of his – why he’s even wearing so many clothes in this dreaded heat to begin with is beyond me… why, sir! Why indeed are you wearing a coat? Are you not dying from heat?”

I didn’t know what to say. I was, of course, dying from heat. It was nothing more than my pride that held my coat to my body but I didn’t dare tell her that! I thought it must be much the same for her brother. I wondered what I would do in their situation. I figured in all honesty I might have chosen the bottle. I felt ashamed and intensely selfish in that moment.

Seeing I was unable to form a response, she went on after her brother, who had made it several more yards away from us as we conversed.

“Wait, ma’am, let me come with you!” I called after her.

“Let them go,” Jack said, for I had been transported back to his side. I looked after the woman and her brother, sorrow filling my heart. This encounter had affected me more than I cared to admit, but pride telling me I must keep up the appearance of strength in the presence of Jack, I came up with a snarky comment.

“So I assume the moral of this story is to quit drinking?”

“No, John, the moral of this story is that a chasing after pleasure leaves you empty and only hurts those around you. Come on, let’s keep going.”

I followed Jack for a few steps only before stopping. Jack, sensing my halt, called from over his shoulder, “why are you stopping, John?”

“I wish you would stop using my name like you know me,” I said. “If I take my coat off, are you positive you won’t take it from me?”

Jack turned to face me. “What would I gain from stealing your coat? Heavens! It’s a hundred degrees out!”

I eyed him skeptically and began to disrobe, beginning with my scarf. My neck, exposed to the open air, began to cool for the first time since entering this cruel world and it was one of the most refreshing feelings I had ever felt. I gained confidence after that and hastily removed my coat, though I struggled since I was still holding my scarf in my left hand. My arms, now exposed to the fresh air, screamed with gratitude. I let out an audible “ah” and I’m sure my face opened for a moment into a smile. Satisfied with my decision, I took a few steps forward, toward Jack. My smile quickly turned into a frown, for I realized I was carrying just the same amount of weight as I had before, and my steps were still tedious.

“You’ll be lighter if you drop them,” Jack said, nodding toward my clothes. He wore an annoying little smirk and I wished to knock it right off him. I’m sure he felt my glare penetrating his soul, but his expression did not change.

“What if I want them later? Who knows, maybe you’ll transport me to some wintry environment next and then I’ll be dreadfully cold.”

Jack’s smile widened ever so slightly before he turned back around and began marching forward once again. I followed, contemplating whether I should just drop my coat and scarf and be done with it.

“What’s the sense in holding onto your pride when I see right through you, John?” said Jack over his shoulder. It was a downright ugly thing to say and it filled me with rage. Deep down I knew he was right though.

A Desert Soul, Part 2

At the edge of the trench were two men in heated discussion. There was much swearing and pointing and obvious frustration on both party’s ends. The man on the right was gripping some papers tightly and pointed at them occasionally as he argued. It appeared as though this man cared a great deal about his papers. The other man, I concluded, was less attached to the papers, as he was holding nothing and in fact, the briefcase which sat nonchalantly at his feet was open and the files in there were strewn recklessly around with no organization. As we approached them, they continued arguing, not seeming to notice us at all.

“The blazes, man! How could you possibly bear to abandon our years of hard work at such a time as this! I simply cannot believe my ears, Frederic! This is absolute–“

“Now listen here! I didn’t come all this way just to be reprimanded by my colleague – and best man at my wedding I might add! When did you get so… consumed with your work that you’ve given up on our good graces! If anyone has the right to be flabbergasted, it’s me!”

“Our good graces! Don’t you see the importance of this work! We’re on the brink of breakthrough, Frederic! One more day and we’ll have a moment and as soon as we publish our work, we’ll be famous! Famous, I tell you! And, listen now – no, you listen to me! – It’s not just about fame. It’s about discovery! It’s about knowledge! It’s about advances of science! Can’t you see that? Can’t you open your eyes and look about you–“

“Don, it’s just a map!”

“Just a map! God, Frederic! Don’t you care! Don’t you have an ounce of respect for–“

“Of course I care! But I refuse – I simply refuse – to let cartography of all things – hah! Cartography is what’s coming between us, Don, can’t you see that? Can’t you open your eyes? I simply refuse to let this job ruin a friendship that I’ve cherished for ten years!”

“You just don’t care about your field. You need to find some loyalty. You’re not the man I once knew – captivated by the science of cartography. Enamored by the discovery of new heights, new places, new phenomena! It’s everything, Fred, everything!”

You’re speaking to me about loyalty! It seems to me that you’re the one that needs a lesson in loyalty, Don!”

At this point, the argument dissipated a little as the two men, too annoyed to look at each other, prepared to go their separate ways. I looked at Jack, confused. Not only about the nature of what I just witnessed, but about my nature. Was I invisible? Was I in a separate dimension? Was I awake, was I alive? Jack must have perceived my state of mind from my state of face, for he explained without hesitation that we were just visitors in this desolate world and without his permission, I could not be seen by anyone here. I was a ghost! The thought appalled me, and made me more homesick than I’d felt since my first semester at university!

“Don’t worry, when your time here is finished, you will be transported back to your home on Happy Lane, but God still has a purpose for you here in this world.”

I sneered.

“So what do you think of the two gentlemen?”

“Well,” I responded, “I think the one called Don had a point, if indeed they were so close to a breakthrough in their work. They shouldn’t abandon their objective over a silly disagreement.”

“So you hold no merit for Frederic’s words?”

“He sounded a bit like a woman, didn’t he?” I chuckled to myself. Jack smiled too. “Look, I see the validity of his argument. Friendships are important, but think about the long-term. The advancement of science will have a longer and broader effect than a platonic relationship. Long after the both of them are gone, the world will thank this Don fellow and scoff at Frederic.”

Before Jack could respond, Don and Frederic began once more to babble on. It went like this.

“Oh, Frederic, please don’t tell me you are beginning to see the supernatural side of things! What, next you’ll be telling me you believe in God!”

“Don’t you find it just a tad confusing, the origin of our planet? I’ve done a lot of thinking on the matter and the more I wrestle with it, the less I can come to accept the simplicity of macroevolution.”

“Oh don’t be ridiculous! You call yourself a man of science!”

“Why does science and the supernatural have to be at odds with each other all the time? Huh? Why can’t, just for once, the scientific community come to think about reconciling the two?”

“Because, Frederic, the concept of God is a spit in the face to materialists everywhere! It’s admitting that modern science can’t adequately understand something, and I would argue the opposite!”

“Okay, let us take an example here–“

“There is no point in arguing this right now! What will we accomplish? Up until this point I have thought of you as a great mind. What has happened to you? Where’s the Freddy I know and love? This can’t be him!”

“I thought you should be a lot more open-minded than you’re making yourself out to be right now. At least I had hoped. Remember when you were this bright-eyed kid, hungry for science and knowledge? You were open to new ideas, you challenged your presuppositions, you engaged in conversation! When did you start defending your stubborn mind to the point of shutting out your closest allies?”

“Oh, not this again! Really, you’re still on this whole friendship thing? Can’t you see this is bigger than that! I care more about the future of science, the future of intelligence, than a silly relationship that will end as soon as the both of us are decayed in our graves!”

“There are others, Don! If we don’t make this grand discovery, somebody else will! Somebody else always does. The world isn’t at stake here, but our friendship is! I have come to care less about the grander things in life, and more about the things that affect me personally. I want to have more time for my wife and kids, don’t you?”

“There’s a reason I’m not married!”

“You never approved of me and Marie, did you? I knew it! Okay, well, listen to me carefully. If this is the real you, I want nothing to do with you! And I definitely don’t want anything to do with your scientific discoveries! I hope you enjoy your fame, but Don… I hope you can see some day what’s important in life. And what you’re chasing won’t satisfy you. You’ll be an insatiable beast til the day you die!”

And with that, Frederic was off, shedding his clothes with each step away from his colleague, til he was down to his breeches. With each layer shed, his step became lighter and lighter, til he was actually running – away from Don, away from the ravine.

“And what do you think of that exchange?” Jack asked me.

“Frederic is losing a level-headed friend. It’s quite a shame, really, but this sort of thing happens all the time. The folly of the supernatural is always covered over with the charade of care. The poor Don was only standing up for reality, for the truth… and he got attacked for it. Ah, but so it goes. Persecuted are we who champion science; I’ve come across quite a many Frederic in my day.”

“So how do you explain me?” Jack asked.

To be quite honest, I had been avoiding this purturbance. It had been bothering me since the moment I came face to face with my new reality in this barren land, and I hadn’t yet come up with a conclusion to the matter.

“I can only be explained with the acceptance of the supernatural, for I am not humanly in any sense. I am a messenger of God and you are captured in a supernatural dimension. I’d very much like to hear how you explain this whole experience away using your precious science. But no matter – I’ll let you chew on that for the time being. Let us continue on our journey, down into the ravine. It will be a tad narrow going down, and it might benefit you to shed your coat. I’m sure you’re quite stifled with heat in there.”

“I will keep my coat, thank you.”

“You’re a stubborn man, aren’t you. Well, let’s go.”

And Jack led me down past a dead shrub to a narrow ledge that led precariously down into the gorge. I did not fancy this part of the journey, but seeing no alternative, followed my ‘supernatural’ guide. My coat tore a few times on the way down I’m ashamed to admit.