Writing Is Hard

He eyed his computer screen with exasperation.

“I will write something!”

For the hundredth time that hour, he vehemently pounded on his keyboard, willing something good to come of it. He finished a sentence. He hated it. He moved on, writing another sentence. He hated it even more than the last sentence. He wrote half of the next sentence before highlighting the entire section of text and clicking delete.

He sighed in annoyance. “Why is writing so hard!?” He yelled.

For the next three hours, he wasted his time on YouTube, starting with comedy videos and ending watching a fainting goat falling down a slide.

In frustration, he clicked back to his Word document, wincing at the blank page.

“I had one goal today: write something. That’s all I ask! Is that so hard!?”

A booming voice from heaven caught him off guard. “When you can’t think of something to make up, tell a true story!”

Was it God? Was it his imagination? He didn’t care. He finally had an idea.

The next hour watched him clack away at his keyboard, struggling to find the words that he wanted. When he finally finished, he realized that the story he had just told was poorly written and sloppy. But he didn’t care. He had written something.

He posted it.

The Window

The train droned on.

Through misty window, through tinted glass, the girl looked. And when the window looked back, she knew it was true.

I’m a failure. The thought settled in, making itself comfortable in the combines of her mind. She allowed the thought to become her, to transform her identity. She truly believed it.

I’m a failure. 

“No you’re not.” The voice caught her off guard. She raised her head and looked into the eyes of a man. She stared at him, wondering how he could have heard her thoughts. Did she say it aloud? How could he know?

“You’re not a failure.” Those were caring words– gentle words. His head cocked ever-so-slightly as he said it, his brown hair falling with gravity across his forehead.

She couldn’t formulate words; she just kept staring at him. How did he know? Who is he?

“I don’t know what you’ve been through. I don’t know who you are or what you’ve done. But I do know that everybody is special, that everyone has gifts and talents that make them unique. Everybody fails, yes. But nobody is a failure.” His red lips cracked into a soft smile.

She wanted to believe it; anyone would! But when she turned her gaze back to the window, back to her past, she simply couldn’t accept what wasn’t true.

“If you knew me you’d agree with me.” she looked back into his eyes. They were big. Inviting. She looked deeper. This was a man who had a deep love for people, a man who cared about those around him. He didn’t make judgments about them or spread hate like most people did. No, this man was different.

Before they could exchange any further words, the train pulled into the station with the toot of a whistle and a creak in the wheels. But before the man left, he reached in his bag and pulled out a book and handed it to her.

“I hope you change your mind.” With a soft smile and a nod, the man turned and left the train car.

She looked at the book in her hands. It was a Bible. With one final glance at the condemning window, she exited the train. She had made her decision: she would accept her failures and move on. She refused to be defined by them.

Pursuit

She gripped the wheel and pushed the accelerator to the floor.

He flipped on the lights and siren and pushed his engine to the limit.
She glanced in the rear-view mirror and clenched her teeth, willing to go faster.
He gained on her; he would catch her.
She could outrun him; she would outrun him.

They whizzed down the vacant highway, turning the serene country night into a Las Vegas weekend.

She was the outlaw.
He was the law.
She felt she could do anything right now.
He would catch his fugitive and be the hero.
No hero could ever stop her; she would escape.

They crashed through the peppermint blockade at a toll booth, leaving the operator wondering what in the heck just happened.

Again, she looked behind her.
He was gaining on her.
She frowned.
He smiled.
She screamed and punched her steering wheel; doubt infiltrated her conscious and called out to her. You’ll never make it!

Joline slammed her brakes and came to a complete stop in the middle of the turnpike. She jumped out of the car and sprinted to the edge of the road, hoping to beat the cop on foot. Nothing but pure adrenaline coursed through her veins. She left the asphalt road behind her and entered a jungle of knee-high grass, which only slowed her progress. A mere football field away was a grove of dark pine trees: refuge.

Jon halted his car behind the fugitive’s and chased after her. She was young and spry; she was faster than he. There was no way he could catch her on foot. He drew his .9mm and penetrated the crisp air with three vicious shots. The first two bullets missed their target but the third struck her calf, sending her to the ground. He holstered his weapon and sprinted toward her. Just before he reached her, she leapt to her feet and with all the speed she could muster with an injured leg, raced for the trees. Again Jon drew his handgun and this time it only took one shot to keep her down. The pursuit was over; the outlaw was captured.

Blurry Lines

“Let’s go out and see America.”

That’s what I told you, and I meant it. I expected you to be skeptical; you never were someone to board my crazy-idea trains on a whim. But this time was different and you surprised me.

“How long?”

“As long as it takes.”

So we dropped everything we were doing in life; we dropped out of college, quit our lousy part-time jobs, and just like that we left. We pooled our money, sold some junk, and took your van.

We both agreed that it was irresponsible, but did we care? Sometimes you have to live a little. That’s how we justified it anyway.

Within a month we were out of money, the van had broken down for the hundredth time, and our spirits were at an all time low. We had no choice but to return home.

That was when the accident happened.

Now as I return home without you, something feels weird; everything feels weird. I stare out the window and the world is no longer described by the lines, colors, and points that defined it before. Instead it blurs by like a Van Gogh masterpiece, the blues and greens morphing into one, the lines and points combining into a single nonsensical mess. My world feels hazy and everything is wrong.

I’ll be home soon and then I’ll have to face life. I’m not ready. I’ll never be ready, will I?

I’m an optimist, but sometimes bad things can’t be undermined. This is one of those times.

Airplane Romance

They met on a plane. Romantic, isn’t it? A domestic flight out of JFK airport, they were both returning to Houston after visiting family for Christmas. They hit it off right away.

“Hope this isn’t weird, but you look a lot like my cousin!”

“Ha! That’s not weird! It’s pretty cool, actually!”

They talked until they felt the plane moving down the runway, ready to take off.

“Hey. If I snore, feel free to nudge me. I’m notorious for snoring.” She said with a smirk, planning to sleep the whole way home to H-town.

“Sounds good.” He smiled back at her. She was beautiful. Short and curly, her fiery hair stood out to him as extraordinary. She struck him as a free-willed, stubborn type. That didn’t bother him though. In fact, he always imagined himself settling down with that kind of girl. He was laid back, a follower rather than a leader, and overall just an average guy. He found life enjoyable by the people he put himself around.

Twenty minutes later, the plane was in the air, droning on drearily, pushing through the mellow clouds like a stick through a marshmallow.

He couldn’t sleep, no thanks to his seat mate next to him. Sure enough, she was snoring. He sighed and turned in his seat slightly, trying to find a restful place, but he couldn’t ignore the irregular noises beside him.

Should I wake her up and tell her she’s snoring? He wondered.

The flight attendant approached, offering blankets to the passengers. Thinking quick, he asked for two. He glanced over at his new friend next to him, the small window bearing the weight of her head.

“Hey.” He tapped her shoulder. No response. “Hey.” He tugged her sleeve. No response. “Hey.” He shook her shoulder gently and her eyes slid open, unveiling her small, brown eyes. She sighed heavily.

“Was I snoring already?” She yawned.

He grinned. “Yep. Also, I thought you might want a blanket.”

“Thanks.” She took the blanket from him, turned her shoulder and once again leaned against the window. She was a sleeping machine.

He smiled, leaned his seat back, and sighed contentedly, shutting his eyes. I could see myself dating this chick. And he slept.

An Old Man

The worst feeling in the world is that of being lost— nobody likes it. The only options when lost are to ask for directions and risk looking the fool or to indulge in arrogance by stumbling around a few extra hours. Either way, the outcome is dim.

What’s worse than getting lost? Getting lost in the middle of the forest just before sunset on a winter day in Scandinavia. This was my situation.

Given my circumstance, it was understandable that I wasn’t in the best of moods. My morale was sinking as quickly as the sun, which was pretty low already. I was cold. I began to think about how I would stay warm. With nothing more than the clothes on my back, I had no method of making a fire. Yes, I realized that it was possible to make a fire by rubbing sticks together, but I was by no means a survivalist. My skills extended no further than watching Bear Grylls in a few episodes of Man Vs. Wild— that guy’s a boss.

Fortunately, my mind didn’t have too much time to come up with worst-case scenarios before I stumbled upon a path. With spirits lifted, I exuberantly followed it through the woods, hoping upon a star that it would lead me back to the town I was staying in. Spoiler alert: it didn’t. Instead, it led me to a small shack in a clearing. I was disappointed to say the least, but not all hope was lost; smoke was pillaring out the chimney of the cabin. I began to imagine myself sitting by the fire, eating steaming stew and drinking a piping-hot drink. Eagerly, I rushed to the door and pounded on it. My teeth were chattering.

The door creaked and an old man stood in front of me. It then hit me that I was not in America. This man probably didn’t speak English; I certainly didn’t speak a lick of Norwegian! An awkward moment passed before I spoke up.

“Hi!”

The man mumbled something incoherent.

“Hi,” I repeated. “I’m lost.”

The man said something in a different language. I assumed it was Norwegian. My hopes began to sink again. I felt the distant warmth of the fire tickle my icy nose. I had to make it inside!

“Can I come in? My name is Jared. I’m lost. I’m from America. I don’t speak Nor—”

“American?” The man mustered in his best English.

“Yes! American! Can I come in?” I found my hands more useful at communication than my words. I made a few weak gestures, trying to convince him to let me in.

He seemed content enough just knowing that I was American. He stepped aside, inviting me in.

“Thank you! Thank you!” I rushed inside, desperate to feel the fire. It was then that I realized just how pathetic I was. Here I was, a twenty-something year old, able-bodied man, unable to fend for myself in the wild. And to contrast that, I’m finding solstice with a withered old man, probably in his sixties or seventies, who seemed completely able to take care of himself. America has made me weak, I thought. I dismissed the idea for the time being. All I really cared about was how wonderful the heat of the fire felt upon my numb body.

The old man was a wonderful host. He made me some hot tea, which I gulped down with joy. It wasn’t until I was warm and relaxed that I had the idea to use a translator app that I had on my phone. I typed in “Thank you. My name is Jared. I am lost. Do you have a map or someway to help me get back to the town I’m staying at? Sorry to impose, but can I sleep here tonight?” and translated it to Norwegian. When he saw it, the old man chuckled a little and for the first time, smiled at me. He took the phone from me and translated a message for me. It said “I’m Alex. My home welcomes you. I shall show map to you in morning. You sleep on floor tonight.” I typed in “Thank you.” He nodded.

The next morning, I was alone; the old man was nowhere to be found. All I saw was a note in Norwegian and a map sitting on the table in the cabin. I translated the letter which strangely said, “Jared, I have left. I am moving on in world. Cabin has been my home for ten years, but today is day I leave. Here is map. Wish the best of you in life. Goodbye.”

After a short walk through the woods that had disoriented me the night before, I found the small town I was staying in, returned to America and continued to live my life. But I never forgot the old man who let me stay in his cabin that night. To this day, the story of Alex is one of my favorites and I tell it to anyone who will listen.

The Man Who Hadn’t Heard

“You a religious man?” The withered man asked.

I nodded. “A disciple of Jesus.”

“Sounds like a cult.”

“It’s not.” I assured him.

A long moment of silence ensued and the only sound was that of the train rumbling on and on and the air whooshing past not more than a foot away from us on the other side of the glass. It hit me then just how beautiful God’s creation really was sometimes. It impressed me so much just then that I let out an audible “Hm.”

“What?” the bearded man wondered.

I chuckled softly. “Oh, it’s nothing.”

“No, tell me.” He looked at me from behind his bushy eyebrows and it struck me just how soft his eyes looked, as if he was looking at a newborn baby – his brand new grandson perhaps.

“Oh I just noticed how beautiful it is.” And I gazed outside into the darkness.

“There’s nothing but darkness.” The man said, confused.

“Oh but there’s much more than darkness.” I smiled at the sophisticated way that I knew this was going to sound. “Would there be darkness without light? And would there be light without darkness? And would there be either without God Himself?” I almost laughed aloud at how ridiculous this sounded. Never before had I voiced these thoughts. Heck, I had just thought these thoughts moments ago! But I continued anyway.

“You see, in the beginning, God created everything. He separated the darkness from the light, and it was beautiful and he saw that it was good.” I paused, amazed that this was happening.

“Because everything God made was beautiful and perfect. And it all culminated together on the sixth day when he made you and me. Mankind was born on the sixth day of existence, and God loved Adam more than all his other creations, so He gave him dominion over the rest of it.” I looked into the man’s eyes. They were intently fixed on mine, unblinking.

“But then man sinned. Yes, man sinned mere days after he was created. He ate of the forbidden tree, he and his wife together, and they realized their sin and they were ashamed. So ashamed they hid from God and when God came to them, they made up a story to cover it up.” Small pause. I couldn’t believe this guy was still listening. I expected him to get up and leave at any minute. But he didn’t. He stayed. He listened. He wanted to hear the end of the story.

“Man and woman were banished, expelled from the garden for their sin forever. And it wasn’t until centuries and centuries later that sin was paid for once and for all. It was paid on a cross, on a tree; it was a Roman custom to crucify their criminals on a cross, in public for all to see. But this man, Jesus, had committed no crime. No sir, he was spotless, sinless, perfect. He was God’s one and only son, sent to Earth to live as a man – to feel temptation, to feel persecution, to suffer pain and anguish, and to ultimately die a humiliating criminal’s death – ridiculed by all who witnessed it.” I paused and looked back at the man. Tears were streaming down his face, but he didn’t take his eyes off me. Not once did he wipe his tears. He merely stared, anticipating my next words.

“But Jesus was not defeated. No sir, Jesus conquered death. Merely three days after he was crucified, he left the grave a very alive man and ascended to heaven to live with God for eternity. But before he left, he appeared to his disciples, his friends and followers, and gave them one last command. ‘Go therefore and make disciples’ He said. ‘Spread the Good News’ He said. So that’s what I’m doing. And that’s what I meant when I said I was a disciple of Jesus. And no, it’s not a cult. It’s much, much more than that. It’s a personal relationship with the only one who can save your soul from hell. It’s a relationship with the savior of the universe. You can be his friend and talk to him the way I’m talking to you right now. Now how cool and amazing and beautiful is that?”

When I looked back at the man, his head was drooped into his hands and he was sobbing.

“No one has ever told me what you just told me.” He managed through the tears.

I was shocked. I was appalled that a man of his age – he must have been in his late eighties – had never heard the gospel before. I didn’t think that was possible. Everybody knew about Jesus. Everyone had sat through a lecture from their father, mother, husband, wife, girlfriend, step-father, grandmother, or baby sitter about how they needed Jesus in their life. But not this poor old man. Not once had anybody sat him down and explained to him what this whole “Jesus thing” was about. It took an eighteen-year old punk kid stranger for him to hear the Gospel of Jesus Christ. And right there I wept with him. For him.

That day, the old man on the train became a disciple of Jesus Christ and a very good friend of mine. In the months to follow, I showed him the Bible, I prayed with him, I played cribbage with him; I loved him. And it’s a good thing somebody did too, because that same year, he passed away.

So now, every time I ride that train, I sit in the same place and look out the window into the darkness and think about my old friend who had never heard the Gospel. And I pray. I pray for other people in similar situations – other grandpas and grandmas and mothers and fathers and nieces and nephews and uncles and aunts and sons and daughters – who have not heard the good news of Jesus Christ.